Everyone has a Role to Play
Written by Jensen Williams, Public Educator at Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis.
Published on June 4, 2021. 3 Minute Read.
Everyone has a Role to Play in Ending Gender-Based Violence.
At Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis, we provide a wide-range of supports to survivors of sexual violence, domestic violence and human-trafficking (referred to collectively as gender-based violence).
We also firmly believe in addressing the root cause of gender-based violence and using education and advocacy as a proactive tool in combating it.
The #MeToo movement pushed us forward significantly with the general public’s acknowledgement of sexual violence. COVID-19 has also increased public awareness about sexual and domestic violence as we’ve seen statistics that point to an increase in incidences.
Additionally, the barriers for survivors seeking support are higher than ever before as those living with abusers don’t necessarily have the tools available to them to safely make a crisis call or access a safe space such as a friend’s house.
At the root of gender-based violence are unhealthy ideas about relationships, gender roles and a lack of clarity on consent.
Alongside that is of course gender inequality which has contributed to a culture of entitlement to have access to the bodies of women and girls.
Unfortunately because sexual violence is so prevalent, society has normalized to a certain degree that women and girls do not have the same right to safety as everyone else.
The first thing you can do to help is recognize that the work to end gender-based violence cannot be done alone.
And it needs to involve everyone in the community.
This is why we work to educate people of all ages around important topics such as healthy relationships, consent, rape culture, bystander intervention, male allyship, and ways to support survivors. Having the skills to combat gender-based violence should be part of everyone’s tool belts.
Gender based violence is so stigmatized to talk about. That’s why Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis hosts workshops, presentations, and training to help community members have conversations and move through that discomfort. This is key to moving us towards violence prevention.
Another important piece of public education work that we do is to challenge harmful attitudes about survivors of gender-based violence. Major barriers to survivors seeking support are fears that they will not be understood, believed and supported.
Here are a few facts that I want to share with you to combat some commonly held myths to and help you be a supportive resource to survivors:
1. There isn’t a right or wrong way that someone should react to trauma
This comes from a misunderstanding of what trauma is.
Some people may not want to engage in seeking support right away because oftentimes it can take a while to even process what happened to you. That’s why we see post-assault behaviors such as continuing contact with someone who has assaulted them.
This doesn’t invalidate their experience.
2. Women who have or are at risk of experiencing violence can’t always leave
We know that women are actually at the highest risk of violence when they are wanting to leave a situation.
Women know what’s best for them.
There could be shared housing, children involved or an economic dependence. That element plays a huge role in why someone can’t leave immediately.
3. Survivors aren’t at fault for the violence they’ve experienced
We hear people say they were wearing the wrong thing, they were in the wrong place, they went home with the wrong person, or that they were drinking too much and that they essentially created the risks that allowed them to be assaulted.
That conversation needs to be changed from how women can protect themselves from being raped, to teaching men and boys not to engage in sexual violence.
4. Women who don’t fully remember their assaults aren’t lying
We often hear this narrative that women lie about having experienced sexual violence for revenge, attention etc.
In reality, trauma impacts our memory and our brains and it is a perfectly normal trauma response to have memory gaps.
Finally, an important note to survivors
There are many barriers to leaving, but know that you don’t have to leave to get help.
You are the expert of your own experiences and your experiences are valid.
Whatever you choose or not choose to do is part of your own healing experience and there will be supports available to help you make your own decision.
You’re not alone and there are individuals and community organizations that believe you and can hold space for you.
About Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis
If you or someone you know is looking for information and support with gender-based violence, please call Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis’ 24-Hour Crisis line at 519-836-5710 or Toll-Free at 1-800-265-SAFE (7233).
You don't have to know exactly what you're looking for when you call, you can just be curious. You don't have to be hit to be hurt, you don't have to leave to get help, and you don't have to be in crisis to call.
We are here to provide a safe, non-judgmental space and walk alongside you in your journey.
You are not alone.
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